Rocío Maestre, an Audiovisual Communication freshman at the Francisco de Vitoria University, has decided to leave her studies at UFV to devote her life to God, being part of the community of the Dominicans of Lerma in Burgos, Spain.Convencida de su vocación, afirma que «Dios es quien llama, cuando quiere ya quien quiere. Convinced of her calling, she sais that "it is God who calls when he wants and who wants.Simplemente te mira y te invita a seguirle. ¡El problema está en dejarse mirar! He just looks at you and invites you to follow him. The problem rests in allowing him to look at you! Porque a veces uno no quiere que el Señor se fije en ti».Because sometimes you don’t want the Lord to gaze upon you."

That’s how Rocío Maestre, the Audiovisual Communications freshman at Francisco de Vitoria University, felt some time ago. At that time she didn’t imagine that in less than two months her life would take a radical turn. Después de sufrir una profunda crisis de fe y refugiarse en los estudios y en el deporte consiguiendo grandes éxitos, se dio cuenta de que todo eso no la llenaba.After suffering a deep crisis of faith and taken refuge in school and in sports, achieving great success, she realized that none of it filled her void. «Siempre me preguntaba: y ahora… ¿qué?», explica Rocío."I always wondered, and now ... what?" says Rocio.Así que poco antes de comenzar sus estudios en la UFV una serie de circunstancias recondujeron su vida a lo que a partir de ahora será su nueva vida, cuando ingrese en el convento de las Dominicas de Lerma (Burgos). So shortly before beginning her studies at the university a series of circumstances redirected her life to what from now on will be her new life, when she enters the convent of the Dominicans of Lerma in Burgos, Spain.

Why this decision?¿Venías meditándolo desde hace mucho tiempo o surgió a raíz de tu entrada a la universidad? Had you been considering it for a long time or did this happen upon entering college?
- Dios es quien llama, cuando quiere ya quién quiere.God is the one who calls when he wants and who it wants.Simplemente te mira y te invita a seguirle. He simply fixes his gaze on you and invites you to follow. The problem lies in letting him look at you!Porque a veces uno no quiere que el Señor se fije en ti.SSS       SometimesSometimes Sometimes you don’t want the Lord to fix his gaze upon you.¡Me negaba en rotundo! I flatly refused. «¿Monja de clausura? "A cloistered nun? ¿Yo? ¡Sí, hombre, en eso estaba pensando! Me? Sure, that’s what I was thinking about!¡No tengo otra cosa mejor que hacer!» I have nothing better to do!"

I had started my escape, which lasted three years. Tuve una crisis de fe muy dura, hasta el punto que llegué a negar la existencia de Dios. Donde antes había estado Cristo, me puse a mí misma, al estudio, al deporte… entré en una espiral de odio y competición…I had a profound crisis of faith, to the extent that I even denied the existence of God. Where once Christ had been, I placed myself, study and sports.... I went into a spiral of hatred and competition....

I got everything I set out for: places of honor, gold medals… and, nevertheless, I was increasingly empty. I always wondered, and now ... what? Man can play God, but with each step he takes he will be closer to his misery, his solitude…. And that´s what happened to me: I ended up disgusted with everything. Pero, ¿qué me podía faltar?But, what could I be missing? Tenía un montón de amigos, viajaba, los estudios se me daban genial… ¿Por qué nada lograba llenarme del todo?I had a lot of friends, I was traveling, studying was very easy for me ... Why could nothing fill my void?

Shortly before starting college, the emptiness inside me grew bigger, and every day, a lot of situations made me remember how good it was to be “in the Father’s house.” Entonces tropecé con cierto pasaje del evangelio… un joven rico al que Cristo le invitó a seguirle.Then I came across a certain passage in the gospel...a rich young man who Christ invited him to follow him. And the young man went away sad.... And he had it all! What good were his riches to him? He went away sad! Sólo tenemos una vida… ¡Y yo quiero ser feliz!We only have one life.... And I want to be happy. He is also looking at me…. A mí también me estaba mirando… Me dijo: «Déjalo todo… sígueme» ¿Para qué quiero mis riquezas?He said, ´Leave everything... follow me.’ For what do I want my wealth? ¿Por qué voy a conformarme con cachitos de felicidad si Alguien me ofrece la felicidad completa?Why would I settle for little bits of happiness if Someone offers me complete happiness?

 
 
Why did you decide to enter the Dominicans of Lerma in Burgos and not another community?
- En ese convento está una amiga de la familia de mi madre.ThereT There is a friend of my mother’ family who is in this convent. Desde que yo era muy pequeña mis padres me llevaban a visitarla al convento, por lo que conozco de siempre a la comunidad.Since I was small, my parents took me to visit the convent, so I have always known the community. Hace cuatro años me invitaron a ir con otras dos chicas a pasar unos días en a casita de al lado del convento.Four years ago I was invited to go with two other girls to spend a few days in a cottage next to the convent. Surprisingly, events started to change course and this two girls decided not to go... and, of course, I could not stay by myself in the cottage! S So, in the end the sisters invited me to spend some days in the convent. These were wonderful days in which my concept of a cloister changed completely.Pero, lo más importante… tuve una experiencia de Dios que marcó mi vida para siempre: Vi claramente que el Señor quería que compartiese esa vida. But most important..., I had an experience of God that marked my life forever: I clearly saw that the Lord wanted me to share in that life. ¡Vaya por Dios!Oh dear! And I had gone to the convent with the intention of showing Christ that the cloister was not for me ... And look at what He comes up with!

The Dominicans of Lerma have accompanied me all this time... they have seen how I was running away from God; how little by little, I began the journey back home and, in recent months, have been from the front line my "last battle against God." Y, lo admito: he sido derrotada. And, I admit, I have been defeated. ¡¡Bendita derrota!! Blessed defeat! Desde que me he rendido a Cristo siento en mí una alegría y una paz que hacía mucho tiempo que no sentía. Since I surrendered to Christ I feel within me a joy and a peace that I had not felt for a long time. La verdad es que no tengo ninguna duda… ese es mi sitio y esa es mi comunidad. The truth is that I have no doubts... this is my place and this is my community.

- ¿Por qué la clausura?Why the cloister?
- Por experiencia.From experience. Porque sé que es ahí donde está mi felicidad. Because I know that’s where my happiness is. He hecho vida normal de la parroquia y… ¡Se me quedaba pequeña! I have lived a normal parish life and... and that was not enough for me! Ir a misa los domingos y participar en el grupo de jóvenes está muy bien, pero ¡mi corazón me pedía algo más! Going to Mass on Sundays and participate in the youth group is fine, but my heart wanted something more!

After this experience, I thought yes, Christ could fill my life. Así pues, ser monja… bueno, pase, pero… ¡De vida activa!So be a nun... well, that’s O.K., but... in an active lifestyle! Así pues, estuve dando catequesis, tratando de demostrarle que eso era lo mío. So I was teaching faith formation, trying to prove to him that that was my thing.Y, en fin, fue muy bonito pero… ¡No me llenaba! It was all very nice, but... after all, I didn’t feel fulfilled! ¡Yo no era feliz!I was not happy!

Entonces se me ocurrió irme de voluntaria a Perú durante un mes.Then I got the idea of volunteering to go to Peru for a month. ¡Yo tenía que ser misionera! I had to be a missionary! De nuevo, una aventura increíble que recomiendo a todo el mundo, pero… ¡Seguía sintiéndome vacía! Again, an incredible adventure that I recommend to everyone, but ... I still felt empty!

Lo he probado todo, pero siempre me daba cuenta de que ese no era mi sitio, de que ahí no estaba mi felicidad. I´ve tried everything, but I always felt I had not found my place, that my happiness was not there. Mi corazón me pide algo mucho más grande que todo eso… Cristo me quiere enteramente para Él… ¿Cómo decirle que no? My heart asks for something much bigger than all that.... Christ wants me entirely for Him.... How could I say no? Sólo Él me ha llenado por completo. Only He has filled me completely. 

What are the expectations you have about this new phase of your life?
- Espero conocer a Cristo, pero, sobre todo, espero aprender a amarle.I hope to know Christ, but above all, hope to learn to love him. Amarle sin medida, con todo el corazón, con todo el alma, con todas mis fuerzas. To love without measure-- with all my heart, all my soul and with all my strength. Quiero aprender a orar, a hablar con Él, a mirar a los demás como Él los mira… Quiero amar a Cristo y, desde Él, amar a todo el mundo. I want to learn to pray, to talk with him, to look at others as he looks at them.... I love Christ and, in Him, to love everyone. Desde el corazón de Cristo quiero interceder, hacer de puente, orar para que vosotros encontréis el sentido profundo de vuestra felicidad. From the heart of Christ I want to intercede, to be a bridge, to pray for you to find the deeper meaning of your happiness. Yo ya he encontrado el mío y… ¡Es tan maravilloso! I´ve already found mine and...it´s so wonderful! ¡Dios es Amor! ¿Qué hay más bello que amar, y amar sin medida? Quiero ser toda de Cristo y para Cristo. God is Love! What is more beautiful than to love, and love without measure? I want to belong completely to Christ and be for Christ. Si supiésemos el amor que nos tiene…If we knew how much He loves us....

¿Sabes lo que realmente quiero? Quiero que no me veas a mí sino que veas a Cristo a través de mí.Do youDoDo you know what I really want? "I want you not see me but to me but to see Christ through me. En pocas palabras, simplemente quiero ser un reflejo de Dios.In short, I just want to be a reflection of God. ¡Os espero en las dominicas de Lerma!See you at the Dominicans of Lerma! 

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